Learn from Being a Client

Editor’s note: This is Cynthia Williams’s final column as she moves on to other things. Cynthia has been a key component to Massage & Bodywork and ABMP. We wish her well!

It’s easy to forget what it’s like to be a client. Especially a first-time client. Often, practitioners receive bodywork through an exchange of services with another practitioner. Or, if they pay for a session, they repeatedly go to the same practitioner. This can change the dynamics of the interaction and alter our perception of what our clients might experience when they are new to our practice. 

A great way to learn and grow as a practitioner is to try various practitioners as a client yourself. While there are certainly advantages to trades and repeated professional connections, there are often profound lessons learned when you go somewhere you’ve never been. Think of it as a learning experiment.

I do this periodically. My most recent experiment was two months ago. Actually, it was two experiments in close succession. What you’ll read here are lessons learned from each session. As it turns out, contrasting the two experiences delivered the most impact, as I was reminded of both what to do and what not to do in client interactions.

Session 1: A Learning Opportunity

I start with the topic of “what not to do” because my first session left me disappointed. There were problems that need to be shared so none of us makes the same mistakes in our practices.

Accurately Market Your Services

When I researched who to book with online, I went in blind. I had recently moved to a new town and had no established connections with other bodyworkers. Like many first-time clients, I searched using keywords of what I needed. (In my case, “deep-tissue massage,” because my body needed exactly what ABMP defines as a deep-tissue massage—“a therapeutic technique using slow, deliberate strokes and firm pressure to reach deeper layers of muscle and fascia.”¹) I found an independent practitioner and chose “deep-tissue massage” as the service being booked.

I wanted to deeply relax and have my muscles worked. What I got was 90 minutes of myofascial release. No slow, deliberate strokes, no lubricant, and no soothing of the stress my body was experiencing. Did I benefit from the work? Sure. Any work to the tissues is beneficial. But did I walk away thinking, “Yes, that’s exactly what I needed”? No. Our clients should walk away feeling the yes. Especially when our intake establishes (and our work delivers) what yes means to the client. This brings me to the next point.

Do What You Say You’re Going to Do

When the practitioner conducted the intake interview (from the doorway of the treatment room—a story for another day), they said, “I’ll use some oil if you’d like deep Swedish-style work.” I said, “Yes, Swedish-style integrated with depth and focus would be great. I really want to relax and also get some kinks worked out.” 

But, oil was never used. Deep massage strokes were never applied. Again, I got 90 minutes of nonlubricated, stroke-absent myofascial release. Of course, myofascial release can be delivered in more than one way. In some cases, it’s deep, intense, and penetrating. In others, it’s subtle and gentle. Sometimes there are slow, engaging (nonlubricated) strokes. Other times, there are held points. I got the subtle and gentle version. Even if the approach accessed the deeper tissue layers, I didn’t get what I asked for and wanted. There were no strokes or depth at all.

The answer is to ask specific questions, then listen to what your client wants and deliver it.

I’m a bodywork practitioner, so I understand what myofascial release is. I recognize that my deeper tissue layers were likely accessed because of their connection to superficial layers. Many clients, however, would not understand this. When we do this, we miseducate our clients on what deep-tissue massage is, what they can expect from it, and when and how to ask for it. 

Even understanding this for myself didn’t rectify the fact I didn’t get what I asked for. I wanted my tissues squeezed, pressed, kneaded, and deeply penetrated. I specifically said this during intake because I know how important the intake process is to session planning and because I know my nervous system responds well to this approach. If a bodywork professional with more than 25 years of experience can’t get what they want, how can a client? 

The answer is to ask specific questions, then listen to what your client wants and deliver it. It’s also helpful to describe your work on your website in such a way that a client can discern if it’s what they’re looking for and book accordingly. Myofascial release should have had its own booking category rather than being wrapped into the category of deep-tissue massage. It was misleading.

Tipping Is the Client’s Perogative, Not Yours

After the session, I met the practitioner in the office lobby. They told me the amount I owed, and I handed them my credit card. They asked, “How much tip would you like to add?” I wasn’t expecting this question, so I awkwardly responded, “I’m comfortable paying the rate that was charged.” The practitioner looked confused and said, “I’m asking how much additional you’d like to add as a tip.” 

My standard practice as a client is to not tip solo practitioners who charge a premium rate for their services. I tip practitioners who are paid less than the rate that is charged. Regardless of your beliefs around tipping, it’s not appropriate to request a tip, especially verbally. It’s fine to have it as an option when clients complete the transaction, in which case you should allow them to do so on a screen where they fill it in at their discretion. 

A tip is not an expectation—it’s a choice. Putting a client on the spot is uncomfortable and stressful, which is the last thing you want to do immediately after they’ve had a massage.

Session 2: The Session That Saved the Day

Because I didn’t get what my body needed, I went online again and booked a deep-tissue massage and selected a time slot rather than a specific practitioner. Rather than break down each area of the experience, I will share how much I loved this session and why.

First, the practitioner provided a thorough intake. They sat directly across from me, asked useful questions, and showed genuine concern for my needs. (It also wasn’t done from the doorway of the treatment room.)

Second, they delivered what I asked for: soothing comfort with deep focus on the areas I needed—neck, shoulders, low back, ankles/feet. The time was allocated perfectly. 

Third, throughout the process, they asked for feedback and adjustment needs. (This did not occur in my first encounter.) 

I left this practitioner a tip they didn’t ask for. Actually, I had to ask to add a tip because it wasn’t offered as an option. 

Bottom line, I left Session 2 feeling so satisfied. (As a sidenote, while I have no problem paying for quality work, I paid less than the previous session— even with tip.) I scheduled another session with the same practitioner for one week later. That is the true learning experience. 

Note

1. Massagetherapy.com, “Deep Tissue Massage,” accessed March 2026.