Flying by the Seat of My Over-Functioning Pants

I was winding up a voice message to a friend and ended it with, “What color are your over-functioning pants? Mine are hot pink with sequins!” Her reply a few hours later was, “Gold, of course, and sparkly.”

It had been a crazy quarter. I had planned to stick to the goals of “get up early, go to the gym, drink two liters of water, all while parenting and tackling a truckload of work,” and I was getting it all done. It wasn’t just productivity; this was superhuman stuff. I was going to change everything, and that started with me. 

The months rolled on. The kids needed me. My sleep schedule was cooked because I was usually up past midnight to get everything done and up early for the gym. Thirteen weeks in, and I was done. Exhausted. Sick. Burned out. I was the worst version of me. 

So, here I was at the end of a voice message using the phrase “over-functioning pants.” What are over-functioning pants? For me, over-functioning pants have the energy of a freight train. They are me at full speed, they make me stop for nothing, and they send me in one direction only, come hell or high water. And for added kicks—they’re not just over-functioning for me! When I have my over-functioning pants on, I can over-function for people around me too.

Imagine you’re on autopilot, no time for reflection, just go. There’s no time to calibrate, see what’s ahead, or get the lay of the land. It is outcome-focused, at-all-costs energy. For me, over-functioning at this level works—until it doesn’t. It fails quickly because over-functioning has no flow.

Functioning in Different Modes

Flow is a different energy, where I can sustainably work toward a goal. I can calibrate how I am doing along the way and have the flexibility to pivot and change based on what’s needed in front of me. Flow helps me get stuff done while also allowing rest, and for this reason, I believe it’s more authentic to what we need.

So, what drives over-functioning behavior instead of flow? We often feel pressure that we must always be busy. It can seem like being busy is the goal and saying yes to everything is the path to being worthwhile. Sometimes the thought, “I must say yes to everything,” becomes a mantra for self-identity under the guise of optimism or a hidden belief that rest must be earned through exhaustion.

At first, over-functioning behavior can appear beneficial. If you’re like me, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m fine. I’m independent. I can get it done, it’s quicker this way.” Then you say yes to one too many things, and it turns into, “I won’t let anyone help. I have to be the one to do this.” It’s like a toddler who doesn’t want help putting on their shoes. I must do it my way!

But over-functioning is not strength, it’s protection. It’s trying to uphold an ideal that is not sustainable, it doesn’t reflect the realities of our world, and it ends up being an inauthentic way to do life. It makes us become a human doing instead of a human being.

The Downside

Operating in an over-functioning state can also be isolating. When I’m going at full speed, not many people around me keep up. And even if they could, I might not let them—because ultimately, I’m looking for control.

Over time, I’ve realized that my over-functioning pants have other wardrobe buddies. They have similar but different traits that can be equally as unhelpful when I find myself wearing them, such as: 

• Side-quest sandals—when I find myself starting too many things and never actually completing tasks or even thinking through ideas properly 
• Variety hat—when I suddenly have the desire to change all my goals and tell myself I was clearly in the wrong place or working on the wrong project the whole time (rather than committing to doing the hard things)
• Under-functioning undies—the opposite of over-functioning apparel; when I avoid doing the things I know are important and find myself frozen or constantly distracted 

None of these accessories helps achieve any meaningful progress in my business or life. So how do we get past these habits and behaviors? Let me tell you a secret I discovered while playing games with my kids that changed how I operate in life.

When my kids were 5 and 7, we started playing games like Monopoly. But the kids often did things their own way. For example, they wouldn’t wait to get the whole color set before building houses and hotels like you’re meant to. Instead, they made their own rules that said you could build as soon as you own any property. This made the game much quicker, and they seemed to have more fun as progress was simpler and easier. 

Over-functioning makes us become a human doing instead of a human being.

It turns out that my over-functioning way of playing the game of business was not the only way or even the best way—it was simply the only set of rules I knew. And what my kids taught me is that rules can change! For example, I’ve found that fun and success are not singularities. In fact, they go well together. I simply needed to rewrite some of my rules about over-functioning to find a better flow.

If you think about your business as a game and you want to play in a way that’s quicker and more fun, what rules would you challenge? What rules would you change? And what rules would stay? 

Time for Reflection

If you’re realizing, “Oh no, I think I have some over-functioning pants too,” don’t throw them away or donate them to the thrift store. Instead, try to be aware when you’re wearing them and when you might choose to make wardrobe changes. Awareness creates the possibility of a different choice. 

Nowadays, I wear my over-functioning pants for special occasions—and if you’ve ever worn sequins, you know they’re not comfy to live in permanently. You take them off after the event and slip into something more comfortable. But how do you choose to wear something different when you want?

Remember that self-awareness helps you choose the appropriate outfit. A fun way I check whether I’m in overdrive or in flow is with a simple journal exercise. I take two blank pages: On the left, I draw an outline of a pair of pants, and on the right, I draw a heart. Then I journal and reflect on two questions: 

• “What happens when I am in overdrive?” I list all the things as they come to me below the pants picture.
• “What happens when I am in flow?” I list all the things I do and how I show up when I am in flow beneath 
  the heart.

After this exercise, I reflect. I look at what behaviors best serve me, both personally and professionally. I give myself permission to do any of the activities I choose, from both sides of the page, and permission not to do any that aren’t serving me well.

Over-functioning pants are just one of the many ways that human behavior can affect how we approach our business. No matter what habits and behaviors you find yourself living with or adopting, having a playful approach to change is a great way to create a more intentional life.