You’ve probably experienced clients who want to spend the whole session talking . . . about you! They’ll answer all your questions during the intake interview, but once they’re on the table, it becomes less of a conversation and more of an interrogation—and not necessarily about subjects related to massage.
Sure, some clients may ask where you went to school or how long you’ve been practicing. We should always be forthcoming with truthful answers to those types of questions, and of course, any questions about the treatment itself, whether they are asked before, during, or after.
But what about the client who tries to take it beyond that? If a client asks if you’re married, you might wonder whether they’re about to ask you out or just making polite conversation. If you live in a small town where everyone seems to know everyone else, they might follow that up with “Who’s your spouse?” “Do you have any children?” “Where do they go to school?” “Where do you live?” “Who are your parents?” People from big cities might not relate to this, but that’s how it is in small communities. If the client asks, “Are you from here?” and you say no, that can lead to a bunch of other questions, like where you came from and how you ended up here. In other words, they’re trying to get your life story.
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If they ask nosy questions on other topics, such as why you got a divorce, whether you’re dating someone new, who you voted for, or what church you attend, it’s time to put the brakes on the conversation. Your personal life is no one’s business.
It could be that you’re someone who enjoys talking about yourself, but it’s better to keep things at a professional level, especially with a new client. You don’t want to be the hot topic at their book club, and they may be the type who tells their friends everything about you. Instead of only saying, “I got a massage from that new therapist at Main Street Massage. You should get an appointment with her,” they add to that information about your personal life.
You don’t have to be rude when refusing to answer personal questions. Give a short response like, “Let’s talk about your back pain.” Engage them in talking about themselves, as it pertains to their reason for getting a massage. Ask if they have a physically demanding job or what they do for recreation. Ask them to participate in assisted stretching or offer resistance.
Keep the focus on the client. Don’t let them focus on you!
Predatory sexual behavior by any potential or current clients is a serious issue. Let’s review ways in which therapists can advocate for their own safety and for safe working environments.
