What’s your story? We all have a story or two to tell: the story of where we grew up, where we went to school, where we work. Stories of love, of friendship and success, and of heartache, betrayal, and loss. Stories define our role and relationship with the universe. And the stories we tell—especially the ones we repeat—directly impact what’s happening in our lives right now. If you want to embrace a new experience of the world, it’s time to author a new story.

There are a thousand ways to tell a story. They might begin at the end, have a moral, build suspense, or be shocking, scary, or inspiring. Who doesn’t love a good story? But are you the one telling your own story? And if not, who is? Sometimes we defer to others to tell our story for us. Parents, teachers, media, Facebook, Instagram, trends, fads, our peers—for better or worse, they tell us what we are good at, how we should look or act, what we should do, how we should live, and even who we should love.

The most repetitive stories you tell yourself lay down the tracks of your greatest hits playlist, broadcasting the soundtrack of your life. You’re not alone if your playlist is populated with stories of drama—chock-full of good guys, bad guys, and victims—just like a blockbuster movie or New York Times bestseller. Research in the field of narrative psychology has found that the stories we tell about ourselves are key to our well-being and hold powerful sway over our memories, behaviors, and even our identity. Knowing this, is the story you tell about yourself music to your ears? Or is there something you might like to edit, revise, rewrite, or perhaps tell in a new way? 

Conscious Storytelling

Consciously telling your own story inspires growth, change, and trust in who you are and what you can do. It helps you express yourself authentically and claim your personal power. Intentional storytelling generates greater perspective and awareness about ourselves, our relationships, and our personal impact. It delivers us from drama, feelings of being stuck, or being a victim of a cruel world. Conscious storytelling connects us with our creative energies in ways that generate new possibilities, positivity, and freedom—and inspires others to do the same.

It doesn’t matter how you tell your story—from the end or with or without a plot twist, as long as you are the one telling it (and not your habits, assumptions, or unconscious agreements). To create an intentional life—a life filled with successes, transformations, and dreams coming true—become the author of your own life.

Authoring Your Life

Telling conscious stories of what we love, appreciate, and authentically desire is integral to authoring our lives. And, as we turn toward this new year, we can draw inspiration from others—and most importantly, ourselves. Harness the collective, cosmic, and global energies of new-year magic to envision, reimagine, and materialize the story you most want to live into—one you would be proud to tell again and again.

Maybe you’d like to tell the story of your miraculous body, your shining brilliance, or your incredibly good luck. Have you ever told the story of your genius? Your essence? The story of who you want to be? Perhaps now is the time: Are you ready for a new year and a new story?   

Greatest Hits

For inspiration, here’s a sample of our own rewritten, transformed, and reimagined playlist of our new stories: The time Heath regrew his weak, collapsed arches. The time Nicole chose to give her body an appreciation instead of a criticism. The time Heath chose to ask for support—not because he needed it, just because he wanted it. The time Nicole chose to look for what was going well in a seemingly no-good situation. The time Heath said “no” and didn’t feel bad. The time Heath scheduled me-time in the middle of a busy day. The time Nicole noticed her breath when she was scared. The list goes on.

Feel-Good Stories

Instead of replaying the sad oldies of complaint, blame, criticism, and judgment, you can make a new choice. Choose a new filter to see the world through, a filter of gratitude and appreciation, so you can tell your “feel-good story.” Any new choice you make leads to a new story. Nelson Mandela once said, “Change one thing, and you can change everything.”

Change one thing by composing your new life story filled with significant, routine, and even minor moments of appreciation and gratitude. Research substantiates that gratitude allows a person to celebrate the present, block toxic emotions (envy, resentment, regret, depression), be more stress-resilient, and strengthen social ties and self-worth.²  Martin Seligman, a pioneer in the field of positive psychology, asserts that, “If a person could do only one thing to increase their health and happiness, expressing gratitude might be it.” Regularly expressing gratitude reduces stress, increases optimism, increases dopamine, and changes your brain.

Gratitude Journal

Studies show a regular gratitude journaling practice can “have a significant, positive impact on well-being, affect, and depression.” A gratitude journal is, quite simply, a tool to keep track of all the good things in life. No matter how difficult, defeating, frustrating, or scary life can feel, there is always something you can find to feel grateful for: You helped someone feel better. Journal it! Made someone smile or laugh? Journal it! You made it to a yoga class, you made a delicious dinner, you made up a new technique? Journal it! You got out of bed today, you got your children safely to school, you work with people who care about caring? Journal it all!

Experiment for one week, for five minutes each day, listing all you are thankful for, all that makes you happy, all that adds value to your life. The best part is to notice the results of your efforts after one week, one month, maybe one year . . . wow. Strengthening your gratitude muscles fuels a new writing style that has the power to change your life. 

Storytelling from the End

In our Leadership and Transformation coaching program, we received the gift of a question that has changed, and continues to evolve, the course of our lives.³ The decision to answer this one question has helped us turn toward a life filled with blessings, happiness, and wealth. Now, we offer you the same gift with the intention you will use its power to create and live into the story of your life fulfilled.

Now imagine: You are on your deathbed and a loved one asks you, “What are five things you did in your lifetime that let you know your life was a success?” We answer that question with some of the following stories:

• I enjoyed a long-lasting, loving relationship with my best friend.

• I traveled and met with healers all over the world.

• I created a happy family of frequency.

• I enjoyed financial freedom and security.

• I thrived in my healthy, moving body.

Our list continues, as might yours. Now, it’s your turn. List five stories you imagine you’d be most proud of telling from the vantage of your deathbed.

Affirming Your Success Stories

Now for the fun part! Start transforming your life successes into wishes or affirmations. Make sure they are written in the present tense so you can use them to create the life story of your dreams in the here and now. For example, rewrite “I thrived” to retell your story as “I thrive,” like “I thrive in my healthy, moving body.” And then begin to tell your new stories to as many people and in as many forms (collages, vision boards, doodles, songs, poems, sticky notes, etc.) as possible.

You don’t have to wait until the end of your life to tell your conscious story. Transform the stories you tell everyone into living, breathing expressions of your dreams, wishes, and affirmations for what’s to come. Massage them, revise them, continually edit them as you continue to evolve, grow, and heal. But most of all, use them as navigational tools to guide and inspire your life’s story. Uncovering your end goal opens pathways for you to author the story of your life today. Rather than allowing the past to recreate what already happened, magnetize the future to you now. Allow your authoring to draw you, choice by choice, to the life story you love to tell and you love to live.

takeaway: Research shows that the stories we tell about ourselves are key to our well-being.

Notes

1. Sadie F. Dingfelder, “Our Stories, Ourselves,” Monitor on Psychology 42, no. 1 (January 2011): www.apa.org/monitor/2011/01/stories.

2. Robert Emmons, “Why Gratitude is Good,” Greater Good Magazine (November 16, 2020): https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good.